**Note: This is just a creative way of purging my angst on the books that I can’t seem to finish. But it sure is an interesting way to look better at WHERE WE ARE ALL RIGHT NOW.
So the cyberworld? Is it SO REAL or SURREAL?
Realism is characterized by the idea of the existence of something. For anything to be real. it must exist. For example, for a unicorn to be real, there has to be a proof that unicorns do exist.
Surrealism on the other hand is viewed at dictionary.com as “aimed at expressing imaginative dreams and visions free from conscious rational control.” Therefore, it is not characterized by any physical existence to accepted as true.
In this Y-generation and crossing towards the Z-generation, how can we claim if the cyber has become or SO REAL or SURREAL world?
Below are common observations about the PARADOXES of the MODERN TIMES:
Paradox is defined by dictionary.com as “a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.”
> In the cyberworld that aims to interconnect friends of friends of your neighbors’ friends and your friends’ neighbors, people have gained MORE FRIENDS but VERY FEW have REALLY MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS. The rise of social networking sites has enabled man to gain thousands of FRIENDS. Seemingly, friendship has taken another turn from its classic definition. But come to think of it, how many among the thousand friends that we actually have in our webpage REALLY KNOW US and how many among them do we really run to when we would need a shoulder to cry on? Just as any close-by childhood friend will do when we simply wanted to cry your hearts out?
» The social networking sites that we have allow people to be out in the open and speak their thoughts out loud through SHOUTOUTS. Everybody has one—sensible or otherwise. Ironically, only very few are HEARD and LISTENED TO. The world has become too busy to speak that it has not given enough opportunity to ACTUALLY LISTEN. Have we ever wondered how many from our thousands of cyberfriends are really trying to reach out to be heard? listened to? valued? and cared for?
»> Cyber has made the world a very tiny place to live in. People from the most remote parts of the world can now be EASILY REACHED through these social networking sites. People from this side of the pole know everyone from the other side of the pole. Sadly, no one takes notice of the starving man seated next to one. Cyber has given man enough opportunity to look past distance and proximity but has failed to knock at man’s heart for a little sensitivity to tap a shoulder of that little girl who did well in her arithmetic, or that old man that needs assistance to cross the street, or that problematic young man who patiently waits for someone who could throw him a curt smile to make him believe that the world is still a REAL NICE PLACE TO LIVE IN.
»» Lastly, the cyberworld has been the great equalizer. Celebrities use social networking sites and so do the low-scale businessman, students, even pedicab drivers who want to join the bandwagon. In the cyberworld, everybody knows anybody. TOO BAD, NO ONE IS KNOWN ENOUGH.
Don’t get me wrong, folks. I do appreciate the cyberworld. Not that this is really my world. I grew up without the aid of the cyber but my time has reached this medium and so I am left without a choice but to get by it. It’s helpful in a humongous way, especially when we reconnect with old friends and relatives from the almost-forgotten past. But there is a REAL WORLD out there that needs to be explored. LIFE CAN NOT BE LIVED in the four small corners of our PCs. And there are REAL PEOPLE too that need to be known. They may be from our thousands of friends that we have in our list. Let us go out and create SO REAL RELATIONSHIPS with them.
Cyber is surreal. But the PEOPLE and the EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT that these cyberpeople put into CYBER RELATIONSHIPS are REAL. Oh, so real.
C’mon. Let’s go out and explore our chances. WE HAVE SEEN OURSELVES in the CYBER that is surreal. It’s TIME TO GET REAL.
:)
Everything was perfect.
Timing was excellent.
Chemistry was simply superb.
Emotions were just intense.
The magic was undeniably present.
How can anything go wrong? But it did. Then why?
We all have been into this kind of relationship. When the person we were with seemed to be THE ONE—or ALMOST.
In an ALMOST-THE-ONE kind of relationship, people can’t seem to find any logical reason why the love has to fail. It simply does. Not because either of the two parties involved can’t seem to work out fine. This kind of relationship is simply bound to end to give way to the REAL-ONE type of relationship.
In this world where everything and anything happens for a reason, there SHOULD NEVER BE ANY ROOM for WHAT-COULD-HAVE-BEEN.
Things happen for a reason. People come and go and they do leave imprints which we all call memories. They may be hard to let go, but if we realize that people come into our lives and things happen for a REASON, then we shall understand that there should never be ANY REGRET when we let people go, especially the ones who are not intended to stay with us.
Some people we meet are to stay for a REASON. They come into our lives to serve a purpose or to teach a lesson. After their work is done, they would need to leave us not because they need to burn a bridge that connects us to them but because their function has been served. Some still come into our lives for a SEASON. They are not intended to stay with us forever but the memories shared with them within the season that they were with us are intended to be called MEMORIES. Some people come into our lives TO STAY. They are the ones we should look out for after the ALMOST-THE-ONE leaves us.
This is when we should realize that there really should be no WHAT-COULD-HAVE-BEEN. Nothing happens by accident. It may be a painful experience to let go of someone who has been a significant part of our lives and we imagined to have been THE ONE.
But when we soon realize that events do not support the ALMOST-THE-ONE relationship because we are being prepared for the REAL-ONE, then letting go is not a form of goodbye but a welcome to the one that is meant to stay.
I will not pretend and boldly say that I spilled unwanted tears when I had to let go of ALMOST-THE-ONE person I thought would be the most significant part of my life. But after everything has been cleared, I have come to welcome a NEW BEGINNING of one that will stay with me and will make me realize why all others did not stay. And I would be most happy to reach that EPIPHANY.
Happy New Year to All!
2011 is gonna be great! :))
If questioning would make us wise
No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;
If all our tale were told in speech
No mouths would wander each to each.
Were spirits free from mortal mesh
And love not bound in hearts of flesh
No aching breasts would yearn to meet
And find their ecstasy complete.
For who is there that lives and knows
The secret powers by which he grows?
Were knowledge all, what were our need
To thrill and faint and sweetly bleed?
Then seek not, sweet, the “If” and “Why”
I love you now until I die.
For I must love because I live
And life in me is what you give.
overratedbutnottoday asked: Would you consider being in an open relationship a form of cheating? Why or why not?
(try lang mag-ask...haha)
*try lang din sumagot* LOL
it’s not at all a form of cheating and even if we don’t intend to be in that situation, it is possible to just be there and find oneself caught unawares. while i don’t consider it a form of cheating, i do regard it as a very compromising situation to be in. too risky to be into considering that the heart is as fragile as a glass. :(
When is it good to hold on and when is it better to let go?
We met each other in an unexpected way. More unexpected was the way we developed our friendship without much effort coming from either ends. But we did. Things happen as they probably should. Like even the falling of a leaf has a reason, maybe the friendship that developed between us was also something that needs to happen—for whatever purpose it may serve—us or either of US.
We went on with our friendship and enjoyed a love-hate relationship. Looking back, many people may find ours atypical of any friendship in its natural sense. But we were there. We could not get out of it. Or we do not want to get out of it. Not that we don’t have a choice. But we have both chosen to stay.
I have learned to accept and love everything about you—the good, the bad, and the undisclosed. But you have a push-pull type of game. You said you push me away because you have a good reason for doing so. But what good reason do you have for pushing away someone you find hard to live without?
You said I should be strong enough to understand you. What kind of understanding do you expect of someone who does not know why you act and think that way?
Maybe you should be strong enough to stand for something you want to claim. You can’t be hiding beneath the shadow of your doubts and apprehensions.
Life has a simple formula—push or pull. Push away the people you love and you lose them. (You may have memories to look back on afterwards.) Or pull back and realize that not everyone is given the chance to capture that fleeting opportunity to spend a short lifetime with that one person whose memories you have will never be the same as the ones you share with others. Carpe diem!
Oftentimes, I view you as a cloud or a moonbeam who can not stay long in my palm. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe, I am the cloud or the moonbeam that may yet to leave your palm…soon.
I have not tried writing anything creative for a while.
*ME: (in utter disgust for the word creative) feeling mo naman talaga creative ang nagagawa mo! Then THE OTHER ME: Oo naman…Marami nga natutuwa eh.Pustahan tayo, dami din comments dito. Dami kasi mkakarelate. LOLz.
Okay, sometimes thinking aloud is healthy and may even be SACRED but when done regulary (especially when the two selves interact and disagree a lot, whew,) people should be SCARED. Do I make sense? Maybe not. As this sweet friend of mine who sent me a PM (actually a thread with the other sweeter friend that we both have). At any rate, the sweet friend was not so sweet when she sent us the PM. She was bitter. She was pissed at the idea of a pseudo-relationship that she has with this guy. And her neurons have abandoned her in search of another being who is willing to stay sane. Their relationship being pseudo is crazy. Or is she? Or are they both? (Fool, not the neurons and my sweet friend but the pseudo guy and my sweet friend, that is.)
Just what exactly is a pseudo relationship? The word pseudo comes from Ancient Greek ψευδής (pseudēs, which means “false, lying”).
She was into him. He was into her (or so she thought). They always had fun together. What started as a coffee break from a boring afternoon at work, exchange of stories (humorous and otherwise), shared work concerns, a few exchange of unclear messages, home visits, collection of movie passes and other shared memories all turned out to be CATEGORICALLY a bonding but PSEUDONOMICALLY a relationship.
In Pinoy terms, we may call it MU (malabong usapan). Technically, the relationship has not been defined yet, or maybe it is not bound to be defined anymore as it should just stay that way in FLUID STATE.
Maybe my sweet friend doesn’t have the monopoly of this kind of pseudo relationship that she shares with her pseudo guy. At one point in any person’s life, he/she may experience getting trapped in this kind of web. Carrie Bradshaw could not explain the kind of shared moments she enjoys with Mr. Big although she was steadily going out with Adan and they were a legit couple then. Alley Mcbeal was not in her right senses (was she ever?) when she played sweet but out-of-tune melody with Billy when they worked together in one law firm (although Billy was already married to Georgia.)
Such is an undefined relationship. Either or both of the participants may have several reasons for staying in that pseudo relationships. DISCLAIMER PEEPS: SAVE YOUR SCREAMING COMMENTS UNTIL YOU HAVE READ THROUGH THE WHOLE NOTE. Here could be some:
1. Having an IMAGINARY SOMEONE is better than NO ONE at all.
2. The relationship might be defined along the way, so better stick your neck out for any tell-tale signs that the relationship is headed for a clearer definition.
3. The other person seems to be the right one. All other factors just don’t fall into place yet. So hold on to that pseudo thing until everything goes well.
4. They were both having fun together. They don’t share the same fun that they have with the other members of their crowd or friends, at that.
5. No commitment means no hassle of making and receiving demands. What a convenience.
6. They like each other but either (or both) may not be done with playing around yet. So just keep someone at bay, in case one (or both) get tired of playing along with others.
THERE MAY BE OTHER REASONS WHY PEOPLE STAY IN A PSEUDO RELATIONSHIP. THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, OR PRESENTLY CONFUSED BEING THERE, PLEASE SHARE SOME MORE REASONS WHEN YOU WRITE DOWN YOUR COMMENTS. Would appreciate that much.
Now back to my sweet-turned-bitter friend’s concern:
She sent the PM to me and my other sweeter friend. My sweeter friend (a certified guy at that) came up with the TEN COMMANDMENTS TO FOLLOW WHEN IN A PSEUDO RELATIONSHIP. I shared mine opposite his views. It’s like a HE SAID, and then SHE SAID motif:
I WROTE MY COMMENTS IN BOLD (opposite his). *This is my note and so I call the shots here. LOLz.
10 “unspoken rules” when in an “unspoken relationship”
1. Thou shall not feel jealous: at all times, at all costs. You just don’t have the right to feel it. » That makes the pseudo pathetic. You can’t afford to be unreasonable (being jealous). You just don’t have the right to.
2. Thou shall not cross the “unspoken borderline”. » Or you find yourself falling off the ridge.
3. Thou shall not expect to have your affection reciprocated, no matter how genuine your feelings are. » Resolution: quit saving real feelings for the person and settle on JUST PLAYING or QUIT.
4. Thou shall remember by heart that you are his/her friend, before anything else. » This is unfair. Friends don’t do that to people they value as friends.
5. thou shall welcome whoever he/she may introduce as his/her “new prospect.” » Yeah, the best way to wake up from a real bad dream or shall i say a nightmare? LOLz.
6. Thou shall not feel upset when he/she brushes you off when you make lambing. » True, then don’t make lambing, be BATO. hahaha!
7. Thou shall not involve thyself with his/her financial concerns unless welcomed. » Even in not-so-pseudo, financial concerns are sacred.
8. Thou shall not meddle with his/her personal decisions in life unless advice is being solicited. » Anything unsolicited is not good for sharing.
9. Thou shall not expect the real thing from what you both claim as nothing. regardless of your feelings and immaculate intentions, expectations are fraught with disappointments. » Nothing real can ever come out of nothing. It started from void, it is expected to end in void.
10. Thou shall follow the rules above because technically, you guys are “wala naman talaga eh.” » Korek! Anu ang malabo sa salitang WALA? WALA!
In the end, it will remain a choice between going on in this kind of set-up in your relationship or getting out of it and staying real. My one friend blurted out these words in one of our conversations to refer to a pseudo thing. GET REAL OR GET LOST. I couldn’t agree more. :)
by Neriz Cruz Gabelo on Wednesday, December 8, 2010 at 11:44pm
I can love you…
As a matter of fact, I may already have…
But I should not…
*sad*
This is my first attempt to write down my own thoughts. I’m a bold person. I know i write well. I am wide-read as well. Ironically, i don’t keep a journal of my emotions. I hate the idea of going back to my old emotions and looking back to realize that I did feel those at some point in my life.
But I have so many ideas in mind (in my heart) that need an avenue to place. Thus this blog post. I don’t wish to be followed. Although I will not keep you from doing so if at any point you realize that my thoughts are more than just follies that you read and see everywhere.
In the end, I hope to give freedom to my thoughts. In good hope that they can land on some deaf ears. On the other hand, I may also wish otherwise. For words when shared with lots of people lose their meaning and their worth.
I am a beginner and my thoughts have just been born. I hope to grow them—in my mind, my heart and in this small place I call my freedom wall.
